Happy 2019! I hope this year is filled with many blessings for you!
I’m not bothering with resolutions this year because nothing I would normally do applies. I can’t say I want to save a certain amount or write a certain amount or lose weight or gain weight or volunteer a certain number of hours. Hell, I can’t even resolve to wake up at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time.
Actually, I guess I could resolve to do all those things (or some of them), but by February, all those hopeful resolutions will be broken.
Now that I’m almost 38 weeks pregnant, people keep coming up to me and asking if I’m excited. The answer, honestly, is no. I’m scared.
Scared because I won’t get to have my “old life,” however comfortable that was. And when I look back at it, it was really nice while it lasted. Selfish? Probably so.
Babies are supposed to bring joy. I keep thinking that I’ll believe it when I see it (when I feel it?). Every now and then, I do have a moment when I’m excited about the baby, but the fear comes back moments later.
What is work-life balance going to look like? What is marriage going to look like? Will I ever write or do anything I want to again? What if the baby doesn’t bond with me or I don’t bond with him? What if I am The Worst Parent Ever?
From listening to parents who’ve been there and done that, all of these fears and what-ifs and worries will be rendered invalid. You just do what you can. You sacrifice. You make ends meet. You give up the futile hope of perfection and resolutions and keep on keeping on.
So I guess that’s my resolution. To keep on. To do what I can. To try.
I didn’t make any concrete resolutions for 2018. When people ask what my resolution is, I tell them that it’s to be a good wife. I don’t know how you’d turn that into a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time bound), and by most accounts, resolutions and goals should be SMART. But I figure that if that is my only goal, then it should be OK. It is something I keep at the forefront of my mind all the time, and I don’t need any reminders to carry it out. I realized that if I make too many specific goals, I forget them or put too much effort into trying to remember exactly what they are.
The past couple years, I’ve been feeling guilty that I haven’t completed my resolutions to the extent that I would like to have done, so this year I want to let go of that guilt about arbitrary goals that don’t really matter all that much. I figure that if I focus my attention on the one goal that does matter, I’ll do better. After all, nobody’s perfect. Not even the company that made my planner:
The year is still young, so I’m hoping that you’re still going strong on your resolutions. 🙂 I found (but I forget where I found them) a couple of time management tools that look really good. Perhaps they could be useful to you.
Toggl: I guess leaving the vowels out of words is a thing now (e.g., Tumblr, Flickr). Aside from the odd name, Toggl appears to be useful mostly for businesses or for managing your time at work, but I could see how it could be used for writing: you can see just how much time you’re spending on the Internet or vacuuming or washing dishes when you ought to be writing. And for the really super-organized folks among us, it allows you to color-code your projects.
Pacemaker: I’m glad it’s not spelled “Pacemakr.” This tool allows you to set a word count (or page, chapter, stanza, scene count [and there are even more]) and an amount of time, so you can work out how you want to divide up your project. It even allows you to pick how you approach your goal, as shown below:
I imagine that this would be an excellent tool for someone who is just starting out with writing and doesn’t want to be on a really rigid schedule.
Who knows? One (or both) of these might be useful.