I didn’t want to talk to him.
I didn’t even want to look at him.
His voice became more and more faint
as I escaped it.
I had always thought I would run to that voice…
that dream had become worthless.
Before I could stop my feet from moving,
I was standing in front of the storage building.
I pulled the widget out of my backpack,
picked the lock open,
and stared into the darkness inside once more.
Three brand new containers
of insecticide sat on the floor,
enough for all the athletic fields.
It was meaningless.
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I was by myself at lunch,
feeling like a distant island.
No one would make an effort to come near me.
Gary must have sat with Maddy,
but I didn’t want to look for them.
I ate slowly and with precision,
folding my napkin into neat quarters
and putting it in the corner
of my tray.
I got ready to leave
when the chair beside me was pulled out.
My ex-crush swiped his curls
back from his forehead.
“Hi,” he said.
I left the cafeteria,
not looking back,
although I heard him calling my name
over and over.
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Because I was semi-famous (infamous?) at school,
everyone knew Gary and I
“It’s a real shame,” Lindsey had the guts to say.
“You two were good together. Two weirdos.”
If anyone was a weirdo, it was her.
She wore a heavy coat in the middle
Her untied shoelaces were tie-dyed
(the only color on her),
and the dark circles under her eyes
looked like pits.
She could taunt me all she wanted,
but I still cared about her
My curiosity had not disappeared.
It had only dimmed, like faraway
headlights in fog.
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