Thursday Three #42

  1. The biggest news is the latest Storm of the Century, Hurricane Florence. Fortunately, it is now a Category 2 and doesn’t look like it’s coming directly for North Carolina anymore, but it’s still going to bring a ton of damage. We are prepared… well, as prepared as we can be for a natural disaster.
  2. I found an interesting site where you can list your web-based fiction: Web Fiction Guide. I had no idea something like that existed until about a week ago, so it will definitely be something to keep in mind if I ever publish something online.
  3. Last weekend, my husband and I went to the Eucharistic Congress, which is basically Catholic-palooza. The most notable thing was that we got to see the bishop, and honestly, I found myself staring at him very hard, while I wondered whether he was a “good guy.”

If you are in the path of the hurricane, stay safe!

First Comes Love…

The inevitable happened. You remember that rhyme you used to sing when you were in elementary school, the one that went “first comes love, then comes marriage”? The thing that, in tradition, happens after marriage has happened to me.

My first thought was that I majorly screwed up, and I internally heard laughter at the joke (which I now relate to completely) that goes “What do you call people who use the ‘rhythm method’? Parents.”* My immediate second thought was “I’m married… isn’t this what’s supposed to happen?” My third thought was about how much tinier our 600 square foot apartment was about to become. Then I tried to stop thinking altogether and called the ob/gyn. It took a couple weeks for the morning sickness to kick in, and I am fortunate that it never got as bad as some women supposedly have it. I never actually got sick, but I got darn near close to it, and I was so tired that all I wanted to do after work was flop down on the couch and sleep (which I did on most days).

The exhaustion lifted slightly after the 12th week or so, along with the nausea. But I still wasn’t able to get happy about the whole situation. I’m Catholic, so I’m supposed to be all joyful about this little soul that God deigned to put in my weak human body. Man, was it hard to be joyful. Every now and then, the joy would come, but the next second I’d be back to kicking myself for what I perceived as ultimately a birth control failure. We should’ve been like one of those couples with great self-control that somehow manages to use NFP successfully for the first five years of the marriage, then has a kid in “God’s perfect timing.” Nope, we’re just regular people after all. The ideals have fallen yet again. So I have been contenting myself with the clichĂ©: “Nobody is ever ready to be a parent. You just do it.”

I’m trying to tell myself that we didn’t fail and that this is in fact a great success (and, you selfish thing, you better think about all the people who desperately want children and can’t have them), but my perfectionist nature is reluctant to buy it. The reality is that now is the time to let go of my perfectionist nature once and for all. I’ve been telling myself that it’s OK if the dishes don’t get done the second after we eat or that the apartment isn’t going to burst into flames if I don’t vacuum exactly on schedule. Or if someone emails me at work, I don’t have to get back to them within the next five seconds. Not to mention that I’ll traumatize my son (and probably my husband, too) for life if I keep being such a perfectionist.

All this life-changing craziness started in April, which means a little more than I’m halfway there. Then in January, we’ll hopefully have a healthy, crying, screaming little creature to be responsible for, for the next 18 years and beyond. Scary? Hell yeah. Fun? Yes, from what I hear. But marriage is my vocation, and with it comes children, as the rhyme goes. So my life’s true mission has begun. 🙂

As a side note, I’m not sure what will become of this blog in the meantime and after January. I’ve been using it less and less, even though the actual desire to write has not left me. I won’t ever delete the blog, but I may not keep my own domain. I’ll try to post every now and then, but I doubt it will be regular at all. I want to try really hard not to be someone who only writes about their kid and/or posts pictures of their kid. If I was a kid these days, I’d be pissed at my parents for posting pictures of me on social media.

*NFP is not the rhythm method, but it still relies mainly on self-control, which fails far more often than we weak humans would like.

No Such Thing as Laziness?

I found a strange article about a week ago that I thought I’d share: Laziness Does Not Exist. I’m somewhat disinclined to believe the author’s premise that there is no such thing as laziness. The author believes that behind every “lazy” person there is a legitimate excuse as to why they won’t or can’t do something. For instance, if someone doesn’t want to leave the house one day, does that mean they’re lazy? Not necessarily. It could mean that they’re tired or that they’re burned out or that they could be legitimately suffering from agoraphobia. If a student procrastinates on writing an essay, it could be because he is afraid of failure or unsure of what exactly to write, not because he’s plain old lazy.

As I said, I don’t know if I agree. Webster’s defines lazy as “disinclined to activity or exertion: not energetic or vigorous,” but it doesn’t expound on why the person feels that way, and perhaps that’s why we are now questioning the very concept of laziness. It seems to me that in our society today, we work very hard not to judge people. We have to be sensitive to their feelings and their neuroses and their pronouns and a thousand other things before we open our mouths and speak to them or open our brains and judge them. I read somewhere that people judge others because it is part of human nature: you make a judgment to size the person up. Are they a threat? Are they an ally or an enemy? Will they help or harm you? It’s not always bad to judge… sometimes it can even save your life.*

Back to laziness… I do agree that there are times when a person’s behavior looks lazy but really isn’t, due to any number of legitimate reasons. I also think there are times when someone is actually lazy and there’s no other excuse, like when you have energy, but you just don’t feel like doing something because… there really isn’t a concrete reason. You just can’t be bothered. Or when people prefer to live on government assistance, not because they are truly entitled to it or eligible for it, but because they are too lazy to work and are “working the system” instead.

What do you think? Does laziness exist? Or have we become too sophisticated to lazily throw that label around?

*And oddly enough, it often seems like the people who are so bent on being nonjudgmental are the very same people who will judge others for being judgmental. Go figure.