My blog has hit double digits, so now is the obvious time to do some reflecting. Ten years ago was 2010, and I had just graduated from college. I created this blog the day before I graduated, not because I expected to make any money or get a job from it, but because I was (pardon the cliché) starting a new chapter in my life. Blogging was still fairly popular at the time, so I didn’t feel like I was coming into it too late, like I had done with most other social media.
The economy in 2010 was terrible. I don’t know if it was because of that or because of my horrible interviewing skills and social anxiety, but it took almost two whole years to get my first “real” job out of college. I remember that 2010 and 2011 were depressing times. This blog helped me cope with that by giving me something I could feel good about. A place to write was good. Having readers who testified that my writing was not utterly terrible was also good.
So many life changes happened between 2010 and 2020, most of them positive. The change that’s most relevant to this blog is that I essentially stopped writing. I don’t consider that a positive change, but I try not to lament the fact that I have “less time” for writing than I did in the past because I will only hear a little voice in the back of my mind say, “If you really wanted to do it, you would make time for it.”
Yep, I know, I know. I have not made time for writing recently because I suppose I don’t really want to write all that much. I had been spoiled by all the writing time I had before. That was one of the better things about 2010 and 2011. I could sit in my bedroom at 7 in the morning and write without interruption until 10 or 11, then feel as if I had accomplished something. Writing would make me incredibly happy, almost like I had gotten a kind of “runner’s high.” Other days, I wouldn’t want to write and would do anything to procrastinate. One time I did the filthy, mundane task of cleaning the vacuum cleaner’s brush roll, simply because I did not want to write.
The same thing happens to this day. When the baby is asleep for the night and I have a glorious hour or so to do whatever I want, I usually spend it doing something other than writing. I blame this on my “morning person” habit and that my brain fails to work effectively after about 2 p.m. Again, that haunting little voice in the back of my head says, “If you really want to write, you can do it. Now is the perfect time.”
Practicality also agrees with that little voice. The older I get, the more realize that there really is no time like the present. Coronavirus made me realize that, too. Our time here is so limited, and we have no idea when it’s going to end. That’s part of the reason why I am posting THE ARCHIVES now: So I can say I accomplished (or “published”) something in the brief span that is my life. It has become a habit to go on the computer for 10 minutes every day, so I can edit and post the next chapter.
After the chapters of THE ARCHIVES have all been posted, I’m going to post something else, likely much longer. I have often had the happy thought that if it was that easy to get in the habit of posting tiny chapters of THE ARCHIVES, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to post longer chapters of any other already-written story. (I have a lot of stuff that’s already been written and is now collecting virtual dust.)
tl;dr version: This blog isn’t ending after 10 years. Despite not making the time for writing, I really do want to write, so I’ll post whenever I can convince myself that writing is in fact more important than chores or reading or all the other things I do in my “free” time. I am going to post some other piece of fiction after THE ARCHIVES, but I haven’t decided on what it is and how often I’ll post.
Thank you to my readers, likers, and commenters over the past 10 years. I appreciate you sticking with me.