One Year, One Month, Handful of Days

Last month was our first anniversary, and I swear I didn’t forget about it! I’ve just been neglecting the blog. So anyway, now that I’ve been married one year, I found that I am suddenly <sarcasm> the Fount of All Wisdom and now have Useful Tips and Profound Musings </sarcasm>.

The main thing I learned is that no matter how painful or annoying or frustrating marriage is, it is better than being single. Having been single and relatively happy about it for many years, I never thought I would hear myself say that, but it’s true. It may not be true for all people, but it has been true for me.

Second thing: I’m wrong a lot! Actually, I’m wrong all the time! And it’s not the end of the world.

Third thing: A common goal helps so much. Whichever anonymous philosopher said that marriage wasn’t staring into each other’s eyes but staring together into the future was right.

Fourth thing: To the people who said the first year is the hardest… I don’t know how I’m supposed to know that until I get to the end of my life and compare the first year to all the other years of marriage.

Fifth thing: What mostly led us into disagreements was the fact that our families are so different. I come from a more introverted family, and his is far more extroverted than I’m used to. To this day, we are still trying to reconcile this. I don’t really have any Useful Tips here except that you need to remember the reason that you liked your significant other’s family in the first place. And there is a reason! You might just be too annoyed to remember it at the moment!

Sixth thing: There really is less room for selfishness. Being married doesn’t cure you of selfishness (duh), but it makes you question your selfishness and gives you a chance to push it aside.

Seventh thing, because the list wouldn’t be complete without seven: Patience. If you don’t have it, you will learn it. If you thought you were patient before, you really weren’t. Patience may also be called “the grace of marriage,” and that is something that comes from somewhere other than my husband or me.

3 thoughts on “One Year, One Month, Handful of Days

  1. First off, I tried to comment on your last post, but the commenting box appears to be missing. I emailed you, but perhaps I don’t have your current address,

    3) Yes to a common goal. Makes a huge difference.

    4) I’ve never been impressed by this idea. Marriages are very different. Sometimes the first year is all honeymoon-ish and then things start to go south. And there are external factors (jobs, housing, illness, families) which can have a big effect.

    5) And, yes, patience. It’s good for marriage, as it’s good for many other things.

    Email me when you get a chance, just so I have your address. And please let me know when the commenting thing is fixed on the last post.

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    • I think I fixed it now. I had comments automatically close after a certain number of days, but it should let you comment. My email’s still the same. I just hardly ever check it. 🙂

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