Sometimes I’m like a little kid: I see someone with something and all of a sudden, I want what they have, even though I have never considered having that particular thing before. It drives me crazy wondering why I don’t have that thing, and is there something wrong with me because I don’t want it? I guess I feel the need to keep up with the Joneses because I’m a Smith. I don’t know. I’m just glad I don’t feel the need to keep up with the Kardashians. Seriously, though — these thoughts go through my head a lot, along with all the “shoulds,” “maybes,” “can’ts,” et cetera.
So I devised some rules that I’m trying to remember for my own happiness and sanity (but who says insane people aren’t happy?) even though life and happiness have no rules, and you can try to make schedules and plans, but the only thing you can be assured of is that your plans will get messed up. With that said, here are some guidelines (that always sounds more friendly than rules and more intelligent than roolz).
1. It’s His/Her Life.
For some odd reason, I get very affected by what people do with their lives and their life decisions. For example, I cannot for the life of me understand why people get tattoos, and I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about this. So I have to remind myself that their choice has no effect on me whatsoever, and I should not let it have an effect on me. I waste a lot of time trying too hard to understand people, and the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s pointless.
2. It’s My Life.
It’s taken me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that I am not comfortable with parties. I’m not comfortable around people I don’t know well, and I don’t require a ton of social interaction to be happy. This has always struck others as strange, and it has made me second-guess myself several times. But at this point, I’ve basically decided that I don’t care, and I’m trying to be glad that this is who I am and I don’t have to pretend to be a social person just to make a statement in front of someone who really doesn’t care (and shouldn’t care) all that much.
3. God Forgives.
God forgives, and he forgives much more easily than people do. I still regret some mistakes I have made in my past, and I know that others still look down on me and condemn me for those mistakes. I still beat myself up over them sometimes, but I have to make myself remember that God has forgiven me, and that’s all that matters. In time, I will forgive myself.
4. God Loves.
Similar to “God Forgives,” he always loves. He accepts. He is always there to turn to. Sometimes it’s so easy to forget about the bigger picture when I am stuck on a problem at work or when a deadline is approaching. And sometimes the feeling of being lost is eased simply by looking up at the sky or at nature or going to church.
5. I Did It Before and I Can Do It Again.
A lot of the time, I whine and complain (at least to myself, in my own mind) about my first-world problems. Something is too hard or too confusing or too unknown. Then I have to think more deeply… I have done it before. I’ve done things that I never thought I could do, and I haven’t completely failed at them. People have told me I’ve done well, and I’ve told myself that I have done well. So if I come upon a difficult situation, it helps to think about all the other unknown situations that I have gotten through.
What are your rules to live by?