I’m a fairly pacifistic (that’s a weird-looking word) person. I don’t like to argue with others, I don’t like to yell at people or get in their face or say mean things. I’ve always been the nice one, the quiet type. But, you know, quiet types do get angry. I don’t like it when people assume that because a person is “quiet” or “nice,” that they don’t have a range of emotion like everybody else.
I was writing in my journal this morning and I realized that 95% of what I write in there is a bunch of rants – things I would never say out loud or to anyone’s face. In my journal, I am a completely different person. In my journal, I allow myself to get angry at the world’s injustice. I get angry at people. I get angry over stupid, petty things that, in real life, I would just shrug off and say something like, “Oh, that’s OK. It’s no big deal.”
I suppose getting all that negativity out in the privacy of a journal is better than letting it run rampant in real life. Dumping the angry contents of my brain on paper and not onto the ears of another person is more therapeutic and causes fewer arguments in the long run. It allows me to see if I am thinking irrationally. And, if I look back at those rants in a month, it lets me see how petty and easily forgettable they are.
But if anyone stumbled across my journal and read it (if they could even read my handwriting to begin with), I don’t think they’d connect those angry rants with me – that “nice” girl. Because, you know, “quiet” and “nice” people never get mad. It’s impossible.
Have a happy Monday! 🙂