The Lifetime Movie Network

Lifetime movies. Sanctuary for women who come home from work exhausted, sit down in front of the television, and sink into oblivion with one of these shows.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Lifetime movies. I especially like the ones where the teenage girl gets bitch-slapped by her mother for having sex out of wedlock or something.

I feel like one of these days, I could write a Lifetime movie. They’re essentially like mini-soap operas. There’s sufficient drama, there are teen girls getting pregnant, getting into drinking, and getting into drugs, and boys getting into their pants.

They’re tearjerkers. Moms and daughters get over their respective hissy fits at the end of the movie and hug each other in a tear-filled reunion.

I really loved Mom at Sixteen about a girl who gives birth when she’s a teenager. To protect her daughter, the girl’s mother passes the baby off as her own and takes care of him while her daughter continues her high school education. Throughout the movie, the girl comes to terms with the fact that the baby is her own and she needs to take responsibility for it. She finds the father of the baby, who is predictably a scumbag, and who doubts that the child is his. There’s also a subplot!

The girl’s gym teacher, young, blond and attractive, cannot have a child of her own. She and her husband are looking to adopt. They also council the girl who is the teen mother. The gym teacher eventually finds out that the girl is actually the mother of the baby, not her own mother. It’s extremely obvious from the way the movie is set up what will happen; it was like a huge spoiler.

I’ve also seen She’s Too Young, which dealt with the issues of casual teen sex and sexually-transmitted diseases.

That one was a little bit too unrealistic for me, mostly because of how the main character’s nerdy best friend is always on hand to protect her from the big, bad older boy who gave her the STD.

Another one I saw was The Party Never Stops: Diary of a Binge Drinker, which was very realistic in my opinion. Virtually the same kinds of things happened to my best friend and the character in the movie.

They started college, had unruly roommates who got them into drinking, slept with guys while they were drunk, had pregnancy scares, etc. The movie really is a tearjerker at the end – I think it was my favorite out of all the Lifetime movies I’ve seen that have been somewhat memorable.

So, do you watch Lifetime movies? Why? Which one is your favorite?